One major downside of living in Los Angeles: the paparazzi. They're pesky...They're everywhere...And they won't pay any attention to me.

Here are a few loitering outside my gym. They're waiting for a sweaty actress to come out. I ask their permission before taking this photo. It feels stupid to ask. It feels like asking a kleptomaniac permission to borrow his pen. But I ask because I'm a polite Southern girl. And because I'm scared they might attack me. They say yes and pose. Look at their big grins. Such hams!

Razzi: Give me your business card. I'll email you photos of [actress' name] that I can't use.

Ellie: I'd rather stare at pictures of myself. 

Razzi: For your blog. For free. 

Ellie: No thanks. But have a super nice day stalking!